RIP

“The Tail of Rip: The Low-Rider Legend of Mobile”

In the steamy streets of Mobile, Alabama, where the Spanish moss drapes like Mother Nature’s lace and the gumbo simmers year-round, lives a sausage-shaped superstar named Rip the Dachshund.

Rip wasn’t born famous. In fact, he started life as a sleepy pup with one floppy ear, a crooked tail, and an appetite that could rival a linebacker’s. He was named “Rip” not because he was fierce (though he thinks he is), but because his first owner caught him tearing through a roll of toilet paper like a raccoon on Red Bull. The name stuck. So did the sass.

Now, at the ripe old age of 9 (or 63 in dog years, but who's counting?), Rip has become something of a local celebrity in Mobile. He struts down Dauphin Street like he owns it, tail wagging at full throttle, dragging his tiny harnessed human behind him. Some say you can hear the squea